Lion Scout Mark McGinley requested that we help make his last tour a memorable one. Phroth delivered accordingly.
Our apologies to Mark’s fellow tour guide and younger sister who had no idea what was going on.
Happy finals week everybody!
Let mirth prevail!
Matt Radlow (Director), Hal Dworkin (Asst. Director), and Desmond Nathonson (Actor) tell you why you should attend this year’s Phroth Phest!
“Hal the Jester agrees that his medieval ensemble is a great way to bring a smile to anyone’s face. The costume belongs to Phroth Magazine, the organization Hal is supporting. “Phrothy the Jester” is its official mascot.
“The reactions have been very extraordinarily positive from everyone,” he says, “They keep telling me how much they love my costume.””
Click here for the rest of the article: “THON 2010: Students Show Support In Costume” (via StateCollege.com)
1. Article: “New Theories in Boob Murder” [source: wearecentralpa.com]
This is actually just a news story about the murder of some guy named Samuel Boob, but for the five glorious seconds before learning that in this case, “boob” is a dead guy’s last name…your inner twelve-year-old’s imagination can run wild.
2. This picture:
We don’t really have a comment for this one…the image alone is hilarious enough.
3. Article: “NY Family is Pussy Whipped” [source: NYPost.com]
This article about a NY family held captive in their home by their own cat starts with “What a CAT-astrophe!” and ends with “I just don’t want people to think she’s a bad cat.” Everything in between is just pure, pun-filled comedy gold.
4. The Muppets sing Bohemian Rhapsody
The cutest version of this song ever.
If you want proof that Phroth does not always take the cynical, snarky perspective on everything, this would be it.
5. The Bloodninja Archives (NSFW)
Bloodninja is the AIM alias of an internet genius who trolled the web messing with people who were looking for a quick cybersex hookup. The logs themselves are hilarious — most notably, there is a moment in which he tells his partner that he has “just popped like 16 boners” and another in which he accidentally talks to the same person twice — but even more hilarious are the things he gets his victims to do or say in the process. Definitely worth checking out for a good laugh.
click here to read the rest of the Bloodninja archives.
6. The Oatmeal: How Twilight Works
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
This analysis of Twilight is written better than the book itself… not that that’s saying much.
7. Article: “Gay-bashing Woman Humiliated for Wearing Hideous Skirt” [source: thefbomb.org]
Homosexuality is a sin, but we think the real sinner is the woman in the ugly ass skirt. God weeps at those.
8. New Moon (In a Minute)
Comparing making fun of Twilight to shooting fish in a barrel grossly understates the precision and focus required to shoot said fish in said barrel.
9. Elizabeth Lambert vs BYU (Let the Bodies Hit the Floor)
This girl needs to get laiiiiiiiiid.
10. Autocompleteme.com
You know how Google likes to guess what you’re searching for as you type? A lot of times, yes, Google guesses right. But sometimes Google is wrong and the results are hilarious. Autocompleteme.com is a blog featuring some of the best, funniest, and weirdest results people have come across while surfing the web.
Until next time, LET MIRTH PREVAIL!
Matt Powers (Head Writer) once again sacrifices his dignity for Phroth.
Resident know-it-all and tweed jacket owner Dan Muldoon takes on the role of a humanities professor, teaching a class crammed into the tiny Phroth office.
The first Phroth Philm of the semester is finally here!
Welcome to Criminally Insane Charlie’s where the prices are straight from the psychopath ward at the insane asylum!
Written by: Matt Woodward
Directed by: Evan Littman
Starring: Noah Rosenheck
Edited by: Rebecca Eisenberg
(c) Phroth Philms 2009
“How far the blog has fallen…you have a video of us miming copy-editing.” — Matt Powers
1. The Eternal Moonwalk: A Tribute to Michael Jackson
Two things will never change: 1) People will always regard Michael Jackson as one of the best singers/dancers/performers of all time. 2) Those people will always suck at the moonwalk. The Eternal Moonwalk links together thousands of excruciating videos of amateurs having their go at the famous dance move and failing miserably (as seen above). There are also a shocking amount of videos of people doing the moonwalk with their cats.
2. Raisin Brahms
Not as good as Chopin Crunch, but still delicious.
Phrothie Says: The “Power of the Arts” also causes severe property damage and dangerous hormonal imbalance in children!
3. Don’t Even Reply
Mike Partlow scours the want ads to provoke would-be-entrepreneurs into swearing at him. It’s very similar to watching a Fox News show, except that Partlow has a better grasp of the English language and understands context.
4. Got Six Weeks? Try the Hundred Push Ups Training Program
When Al Gore invented the internet in 1986, this is exactly what he intended it to be used for. Keep reading it here.
5. Blindfolded Nutshot
If this is fake, that kid deserves an Oscar for commitment to the video. Good god.
6. WE ARE. . . NUMBER ONE!
According to the Princeton Review, we’re the number one party school in the country, and drunk a good deal of the time in the State College area. Finally some respect.
Phrothie Says: This is actually the line for Sharkies.
7. PoorHorses.com
If you’ve ever seen a statue of a person on a horse in a park or outside a building (or anywhere, really) and wondered “what the hell was that sculptor thinking?” then this site is for you.
9. New Jersey Rabbis Busted in Money-Laundering Ring
We didn’t even read this article. The title and picture were enough for us. Looks like these rabbis were sick of their Catholic counterparts hogging the scandal spotlight.
Matt Radlow Says: My former Rabbi paid someone to kill his wife!
10. I Fucked Screech!
Read the steamy story here.
The most disturbing part: people are actually willing to fork over $10 for Screech’s autograph.
Phrothie Says: And the sex part. Also disturbing.
Bonus: From the Phroth Vault
Here’s a classic internet video that, much like herpes, we just keep seeing again and again.
He wrote it. He did it live. And the world hasn’t been the same.
