Hello everybody, Phrothie the Jester here to bring you all a glorious Phro(THON) update.

Over the course of the weekend, I have learned a few useful insights the I would now like to share with you all. The body of Hal Dworkin was merely a vessel of flesh so that mirth and humor could prevail at THON. Hal, for all extensive purposes, does not exist.

Night and day are the same inseparable entity, equally indistinguishable and corrupted, we would all be better off without them.

My hearing has transformed into a supersonic sense where I pick up every last detail of conversation occurring around me. The voices swirl around me as if I were looking at a mosaic too closely and need to step back to get the true sense of the thing, but I can’t.

Clarence told me he found a way for dancers to sneak in and out of THON unnoticed. We were planning on sneaking away during my moraler’s off shift to run to Dunkin Doughnuts to fuel up on some coffee. Annette found out and told me that this was the worst single thing I could possible do. I called her a bitch that should stop meddling in my affairs. She hates me now and I am not quite sure why.

Clarence ended up going without me and never came back. No one seems to remember dear old Clarence.

For the first time, I am filled with self doubt. I am not sure if I was built to make it through THON. I’m really not sure if I can make it thr 7sbre yiguvedgiduy guys fgsuyv gdyg dsfu yg vydgiudgsiusyv yysygi

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By Hal Dworkin, Assistant Phroth Phest Chair/Person Standing Up for 46 Straight Hours

So it turns out that the Jester costume I have been wear for the past god knows how many hours was on backwards the entire time, a fellow Phrothie pointed out to me on a visit. My fellow Phrothies also gave Annette and I two bottle a chocolate milk, a box of girl scout cookies, and an industrial sized container of bubbles.

Thon keeps chugging along and I keep, well, I keep doing what I’m doing, whatever the hell that is. Clarence tells me not to trust Annette, and even though it does not make much sense, I believe him. If there are two things I know about Clarence, it’s that he is a real person and a great judge of character.

The entire time I’ve been here I’ve taken to introducing myself of Phrothie the Jester, I think it just makes me sound cooler and more official. The thing is, the more I say it, the more I wish it were true, believe it is true. Whatever though, those are just crazy thoughts, and I’m not crazy. I am not crazy. I am most definitely not crazy. Phrothie is just awesome and I want to be awesome like him.

I can’t even feel my legs anymore, and don’t even get me started on my fingers.

I’m starting to black out. I’m missing whole chunks of time as recent as half an hour ago. One time I came to and was in the middle of the line dance, mid dance move.

I’m beginning to believe that THON is quite literally my entire life. I cannot remember anything that came before hand and cannot imagine doing anything ever afterward. Sleep? Don’t talk you mombojumbo nonsense to me Annette, “sleep” is not a word.

As always: Go Mirth, Beat Cancer, or something to that extent.

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By Hal Dworkin, Assistant Phroth Phest Chair/Person Standing Up for 46 Straight Hours

Hal and Annette dance FTK!

More pictures after the jump…

(more…)

“Hal the Jester agrees that his medieval ensemble is a great way to bring a smile to anyone’s face. The costume belongs to Phroth Magazine, the organization Hal is supporting. “Phrothy the Jester” is its official mascot.

“The reactions have been very extraordinarily positive from everyone,” he says, “They keep telling me how much they love my costume.””

Click here for the rest of the article: “THON 2010: Students Show Support In Costume” (via StateCollege.com)

COLORING BOOKS. ARE. AWESOME! I just did a whole book by myself. The crayons are worn down to the nub. Annette wanted to join in but I broke her crayons so she couldn’t.

I met a new best friend here. His name is Clarence and he is a dancer too. He is so awesome. Annette says he doesn’t exist, she can be so silly sometimes.

Mentally I’m still all there, I think. The ground is starting to move underneath me without me walking, but that’s perfectly normal, right?

Physically I feel absolutely great! Well, now I do. An hour ago I hit a major wall and nodded off for about 5 minutes on the toilet, but I caught my 6th wind and presently feel fabulous!

I have no idea what time it is. I feel as though the end is right around the corner, but also like I just started. Could be 11am on Sunday, could be 2am on Saturday, who knows. It is starting to get to me though. This time displacement is starting to get me paranoid. I’m afraid for no reason, and the worst part of it is I do not know why. Oh well.

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By Hal Dworkin, Assistant Phroth Phest Chair/Person Standing Up for 46 Straight Hours

So basically my life has become an endless series of line dances and conga lines. I got in one earlier that I swear I stayed in for like two hours. Occasionally I get some food and water. Annette tells me I’m not eating enough. I told her that if she loves food so much that she should marry it. If I want to live off of celery carrot sticks over the next 46 hours, that’s my choice, I’ve got a figure to maintain here.

Pretty sure I’m still there mentally. Admittedly I’m starting to feel a little bit of physical strain, but I’m pretty sure I’m fine. Legs feeling like jello is normal, right? This Jester outfit gets pretty hot, but I’ll be damned if I’m ever going to take it off. If Jimmy wants this thing back he’s gonna have to rip it off my cold dead body when this thing is over. You know where to find my Coyne, I’ll be here all weekend. That’s all for now. Until next time, FTK and let mirth prevail in situations where kids are not involved.

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By Hal Dworkin, Assistant Phroth Phest Chair/Person Standing Up for 46 Straight Hours

Hello everybody. Hal here, one of Phroth’s dancers in this year’s IFC Dance Marathon, or as it is commonly known round these parts, THON. Here are the Bryce Jordan Center, my partner Annette and I shall be up and about for the next 46 hours. No sitting, no leaning, no lying down, all in to help find a cure for pediatric cancer. You can read more about it at Thon.org I plan be here tell all of you about my experience, as long as I am cognizant enough to do so.

Well, it’s early on (I don’t know what time it is) and so far so good. Physically I feel aright and I am still mentally all there, no talking to dead gerbil had when I was eight as of yet. I’m dressed Phroth’s mascot, Phrothie the Jester and I feel as though I’m the bell of the ball. Men keep telling me how pretty I look in my nice dress.

To be honest I’m finding it a bit hard to bring the funny right now, cancer is no laughing matter. I mentioned this to Annette and she just stood by me, nodding her head and eating string cheese. I’m really not supposed to be using this computer to be doing anything but Thon blogging, so I am going to scoot off for the moment, but I’ll be sure to check in in a few hours to report on how I am doing.

Until next time, GO STATE BEAT CANCER and let mirth prevail otherwise.

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By Hal Dworkin, Assistant Phroth Phest Chair/Person Standing Up for 46 Straight Hours

Congrats to Annette McCormick (Thon Chair) and Hal Dworkin (Phroth Phest Asst. Director) who will be representing Phroth in this year’s IFC/Panhellenic Dance Marathon (THON).

We are also proud to announce that we have raised enough money to be entered in the dancer lottery next year thanks to the hard work of all the Phrothies who spent long hours and sacrificed their weekends to go canning in places like Wilkes-Barre, PA.

THON is coming up soon but it’s not too late to keep donating!

Click here to go to the Thon.org website and make sure to put your donation in Phroth’s name and help us increase our chances of getting dancers next year!

Every bit counts!

FTK FTK FTK!!!

To send dancer mail to Annette and Hal, visit their facebook page.