Buildings You Didn’t Know Existed On Campus (Until Now)
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
Walker Building: Walker is tucked away in the shadow of the IST building where secrets are as big as Kanye West’s ego. The building is dark and nondescript, makes suspiciously creaky noises and features water fountains that look like they might randomly decide to spout poison. Logically, one must assume that this is the source of those long lines of children-on-ropes often seen walking around campus.
Reber Building: The Reber Building is like a really good spy. It doesn’t go out of its way to hide itself, but no one really knows it’s there. It is home to mostly administrative offices, but has been known to transform itself into a giant flying school bus when the need arises.
Innovation Park (most students know OF it, but have no idea where the mysterious red link will actually take them): Innovation Park is the University’s way of saying “fuck you” to students in the College of Communications. In order to get to any course located at Innovation Park’s hardly-coveted Lubert Building students must take the seldom seen Red Link bus. However, unless you know the super-secret-awesome password, you’ll never actually find your way to class. Innovation Park is the perfect example of good intentions gone awry. Not only does it provide COMM students with an awesome editing lab and more room for equipment, it also provides them with an unnecessary, embarrassing and cumbersome workout as they struggle to carry pounds of bulky equipment on crowded CATA busses. And have we mentioned that all that heavy equipment is due back (once again by bus) in 24 hours?
Forest Resources Building: It’s not in that obscure of a location, it’s next to the much flashier Business Building, but you more than likely just don’t care enough to notice its existence unless you’re one of the 3 kids majoring in Forest Sciences. Whether you knew about the building’s existence or not, you have to admit, there are few things more ironic than using up green space on campus to make a building called the “Forest Resources Building.”
The Ford Building: It’s got Oswald Tower height, but a north campus location obscurity. Penn State even forgot to list it on their on campus maps. If you find yourself in the Ford Building, find a water source and a nice sheltered corner, because you may never get out. No one is coming for you, nor should they. You went to the Ford Building, and that’s all on you, you reckless Penn State pioneer. Maybe leave the exploring to Lewis and Clark next time.
Agricultural Engineering Building: Far from the shining lights of the rest of the campus, this backwoods building is shrouded in mystery and retarded banjo-playing kids. Very few of the curious explorers who have ventured inside have escaped with their anuses intact.
Schwab Auditorium: If you go into the costume closet, it opens up to a snowy building with a lamp post. I saw a professor there who definitely had goat legs.
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By Rebecca Eisenberg, Matt Powers, Matt Woodward, Andrew Cass and Desmond Nathanson








