1. Popeye’s runs out of chicken

Popeyes ran out of fried chicken when they were having a special and alot of the customers were clucking pissed.

2. Woman blasts off boyfriend’s penis with firecrackers

“A Russian woman got so upset by the news that her boyfriend intended to leave her that she tied several firecrackers to his penis and exploded them, the Life.ru web-site reports.” (source)

Phrothie says: Like Lorena Bobbitt, but with firecrackers!

3. KANYEFY!!!
http://fffff.at/kanye-vision-bookmarklet/

View the internet the way Kanye sees it! Because, well…why the hell not?

Also, you can Kanyefy the type on any webpage. The more times you press the button, the more exclamation points there are!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Similar websites: Cornify & Bacolicio.us

4. Motherlover 

For Mother’s Day this year Andy Samburg teamed back up with Justin Timberlake for a follow-up to DIck in a Box where they sing about fucking each other’s mothers for Mother’s Day. Enough said.

Side note: Hulu flaged this as having mature content so unless you want to view the censored (aka lame) version you are going to need a Hulu account because the video is not on youtube.

(view the censored version here)

5. Carlos Zambrano Loses His Shit
 
View the video here: http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=4756801

Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrao gets all handsy with the home plate umpire after Pirates player Nyjer Morgan is called safe at the plate in a May 27th game. It was a rough day for Zambrano: He didn’t tag the runner in time, his attempt to throw the ball angrily into the stands came up short, and he didn’t get to completely destroy the Gatorade dispenser in the dugout he so loathes. This is important for two reasons: 1)It is the first time a player has ever attempted to throw an umpire out of a game, and 2) It is the first time a Pittsburgh Pirate player has beaten a throw to the plate since the mid eighties.

6. 10 Ridiculous Anti-Pornography Commericals
 

To see the rest of the videos: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/10-ridic … ommercials

Phrothie says: The second best use of the internet (next to porn).

7. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
 

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is this summer’s Snakes on a Plane. Starring ex-pop star Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas, this equisite gem of a film tells the story of two giant prehistoric beasts, released from the ice prison which froze them mid-battle millions of years earlier. Upon their release, the Mega Shark and Giant Octopus begin attacking everything man-made from airplanes to bridges to battleships (Why? Because it’s part of their natural instinct, DUH!). What makes this movie so hilariously awesome isn’t the poor attempt at CGI or the lack of effort behind the script…it’s being able to see these actors struggling to do their god damn jobs. Also, the dismal treatment of the scientific process is uniquely guffaw-worthy (it involves multi colored liquids and making out in a janitorial closet).

Phrothie says: Watch it with a finger on the fast foward button or with a BAC of at least point-oh-five. 

8. Ohio man arrested for mowing unkempt grass at park

“City Manager Matt Kline called the arrest unfortunate and said he understands Hamilton’s frustration. Kline said budget cuts have left Sandusky understaffed for seasonal maintenance work.” (source)

This is real. We swear. It’s not The Onion, it’s not Phroth, it’s some douchetool in Ohio who really loves his neighborhood park.

We can imagine the tough prison talk now:
Prisoner 1: What you in for?
Prisoner 2: I stabbed a little girl to death. You?
Prisoner 1: I robbed a bank and killed two cops before they took me down. Hey, what you in for skinny?
Ohio douchetool: I trimmed the lawn at my local park.
Prisoner 2: Rape him. 
*inaudible screams*

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Compiled by members of Phroth. Let mirth prevail!