Making the Phollegian: The give up
HOUR 54
After over two straight days of bad puns and several harrowing drug addictions, we cut our loses and start studying for the LSAT. See you in law school, assholes.
So that’s how it’s done.
Stay tuned for our new Phollegian coming out this Friday, February 12 and enjoy our 54 hour effort.
Making the Phollegian: “I just don’t care anymore”
HOUR 19
The most recent medical literature has determined that Hour 19 of Phollegian production and LSD have identical effects: dilated pupils, hallucinations, and an irrational hatred of terminal commas. Yes, Hour 19 involves much copy editing–the Sisyphean task of finding every last piece of shit typo and improperly formatted quotation.
The image above is the closest our art department could get to portraying exactly what it feels like to copy edit. The entire department shot themselves shortly after creating this picture.
Some things to note:
1. Hour 18 is so trying, that it causes a gluten intolerance, as evidenced by the specialty pretzels in the bottom left hand corner. No link has been established, but it is believed that the body is trying to destroy itself to avoid further editing.
2. Copy editing also causes you to regress to an early part of your childhood. As the pink gel pen in his right hand exemplifies, this poor bastard has regressed to his days as a 14 year old girl.
3. On a positive note, copy editing sometimes causes the editor to believe that he/she is Scottish royalty (pictured above). After the editor comes down from their editing trip, they are ecstatically relieved.
NEXT: THE END IS NEAR, OH THANK GOD THE END IS NEAR!!
————–
by Matt Powers, Head Writer
Making the Phollegian, or the tenth circle of Hell
We are currently in the throes of a production weekend, despite the fact they were internationally condemned at the Geneva Convention. During production, Phroth writers and design staff are forced to share a computer lab and interact literally for the first time all year. Because words cannot describe the experience, here are some pictures that will take you through the timeline of our hellish weekend.
HOUR 14:
Hour fourteen is known as the hour of “three personalities,” because if you have endured this long, you take on one of three conditions:
-Annette (back left) appears jovial, enthusiastic and excited to be working on the Phollegian. These are the three clear signs of delusion. Annette has a long road ahead of her, because once her delusion breaks (around hour 20), she will become psychotically vengeful and hunt down a random person from her past and kill them in an enigmatic fashion.
-Hal (front left) is exhausted. His vision is beginning to go, and his usual brown hair has turned a troubling shade of red. Hal has about an hour before passing out on his keyboard, the result of which will be used to fill page four of our newspaper.
-Jimmy (back right) is legally dead. This is the third and least tragic of the conditions. Jimmy has escaped the trials of production and left us sorry survivors to finish the job. His possessions will be pillaged around hour 16.
Some other things to note:
1. The brutal fluorescent lighting is slowly melting our brains. It is also the closest thing to sunlight we have seen in weeks. This isn’t because we’ve been working on the newspaper for that long, but rather because State College is a sunless and godless place.
2. This is the headline we are working on. Around hour two we said, “We need a classy headline.” Hour fourteen, and we have given up hope.
3. Build Stuff. Don’t ask, just build stuff.
***Due to a cease and desist order and something about “not wanting to invite the comparison”, we have been asked to block out all corporate logos. On an unrelated note, Apple can politely go shove it.
STAY TUNED FOR MORE BLOGGING FROM PRODUCTION
————–
by Matt Powers, Head Writer
Matt Powers (Head Writer) once again sacrifices his dignity for Phroth.
Resident know-it-all and tweed jacket owner Dan Muldoon takes on the role of a humanities professor, teaching a class crammed into the tiny Phroth office.
The newest episode of Phroth’s Radio show is now live and available for download from the iTunes store!
Click here to download (clicking will open iTunes)
This week Max, Brandon and Mike host live from Phroth’s first production weekend of the year! The guys are joined by such Phroth superstars as Matt Powers, Andrew Cass, Matt Woodward, Jimmy Mayers and Rebecca Eisenberg, who share their thoughts on production, photoshopping mullets and of course, manage to refrain from mentioning genital mutilation.
Please leave comments to let us know what you think! This is only the fourth episode — we want to know what you guys like and don’t like so we can make improvements each week!
Let Mirth Prevail!
“How far the blog has fallen…you have a video of us miming copy-editing.” — Matt Powers
Sometime within the past year, our editor-in-chief Rebecca Eisenberg came into possession of the “Boner Folder,” which, much to our chagrin, was not filled with vintage porn. Instead, we found a cluster of pictures with funny captions on them.
Join us after the jump as we uncover the mysteries of this great folder. We promise it will be more exciting than the opening of Al Capone’s vault.
Since we rarely find ourselves sitting in computer labs surrounded by high-tech gizmos, gadgets and scanners, we figured that this production weekend would be a great time to upload some funny stuff that’s been passed down through the years. Most of what we have has never been published (at least not that we know of) and we want to make sure that the hard work that went into these hilarious bits of Phroth history was not in vain.
This fell into Rebecca’s hands at the end of last year…it’s a poster drawn for Phroth a few years ago of a giant asian terrorizing a city of Godzillas. There’s a signature at the bottom but we can’t decipher it. If you’re a Phroth alum and happen to know who drew this, where it came from, or why it was never published, we’d love to know! If you’re not a Phroth alum, or even if you are and just haven’t seen this before, enjoy the humor and pass it on!
Let mirth prevail!
