1. Jersey Shore on MTV

There is nothing about this show that isn’t fantastic. From the overblown personalities and hairstyles to the improper use of the word “classy” (i.e. “at least wear a thong bikini…that’s a little more classy”) and nicknames like “Snookie,” “JWOWW,” and “The Situation,” Jersey Shore has something* for everyone**.

*in this case, “something” refers to: chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, and a rollicking good time.
**unless you’re the kind of “everyone” who only watches MTV reality shows to watch girls getting socked in the face.

2. What the Hell is Wrong with Nick Arcade?

Did Nickelodeon have some sort of screening process that rooted out the dumb motherfuckers so as to make sure nobody won anything other than all those copies of Encyclopedia Britannica?

Phrothie Says: If there is no scientific research that bad 90’s haircuts (i.e. “The Flattop”) and stupidity are linked, look no further than this video. You’re welcome, science.

3. Let Us Identify the Faggots and Then Inform Them of Their Status

“As to the initial step, it is a relatively straightforward one, as there are a number of telltale signs to distinguish the faggot from the non-faggot, i.e., you, me, your bros, etc. For instance: if he is wearing sports paraphernalia from a team other than the team we favor; if he is wearing clothes that are not sports-related at all; if he is holding a book or, worse yet, reading it. We must be mindful of whether he has faggoty hair or clothes or appears to be in the presence of faggots exhibiting these traits.” - (The Onion)

Just moments after this article was published, the writer was awarded the key to the city of Philadelphia.

4. Unrelated Captions

(http://unrelatedcaptions.com)

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!

5. Keanu Reeves, Reporter

Keanu Reeves: Not acting since at least the mid-80’s.

6. In the Hierarchy of Bloopers, Fishing Bloopers are King

Murphy’s law in action. Right here. How did this guy even get a show? Sure, he knows his stuff…but he’s gonna kill everyone on set in the process!

(Via Gawker)

7. Kid Licks Pole on a Dare, Inevitable Occurs

God fucking dammit, Timmy! Didn’t “A Christmas Story” teach you anything?

8. To the guy in my closet, you don’t have AIDS

“BTW, you might still want to get your self tested since my wife is a dirty whore.” –(Craigslist)

Oh, Craigslist, how did we function as a society without you?

9. Dumb Women Pushes Fire Button

Hilarity ensues.

10. An animated video of Patton Oswalt’s “Christmas Shoes” Joke

How do you improve a joke about a man masturbating to women’s shoes? Create an animated visual of it.