So, as Phroth-sick alumnus with nothing better to do with her time, I was fooling around with Google Analytics for the Phroth Web site. Most of you probably don’t know that us Web site gods and goddesses can actually see what you mere mortals type into Google to access www.phroth.com. Well, we can.

As to enlighten the rest of you Phrothlings and phroth phans, here are some hi-lites from Google…courtesy of their keyword tracker.

The number one searched for keyword that resulted in a visit to the Phroth web site was “andrewmcass. I can only assume this means Andrew (one of Phroth’s most dedicated writers) or his parents are googling himself a LOT. Alternatively, the CIA is after him for drug smuggling and they just can’t believe such an international warlord is in Phroth.

The fourth most-oft searched for keyword resulting in a visit to Phroth.com is “Chewbacca for president.” This outranks both “phroth, “penn state phroth,” “state college phroth” and “phroth penn state.” Seriously. In fact, There are four keyword combinations that include the word “Chewbacca.” In sum, these search queries produced over 30 visits to the Web site.

There are 14 keyword combinations that include the words “fat, “girl” and/or “rape.” Girl is occasionally spelled incorrectly, but nonetheless, these searches have produced 18 visits to the Web site.

And the best for last:

(These didn’t produce a whole lot of hits to Phroth.com…but they produced at least one).

Get ready:

• Can I eat taco bell while I have the flu?
• Family films attack on mens’ crotches
• first indian talking movie mahatma gandhi talks this is one of the rare videos available to see mahatma gandhi speaking
• jersey shore fashion trends
• jersey spring break popped collar
• mayan sayings – angelou (news flash: Maya Angelou is not Mayan.)
• Movie where guy puts numbers on foreheads of his victims
• Pocahontas pee movies

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Laura DeSantis is a former Phrothie (Editor-in-Chief 2009.) Since graduating from PSU in the spring, she has relocated to be with a colony of Phrothies living in the D.C. area. Yes, that’s right, a colony. We’re like lepers.

1. Awkward Family Photos

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Just hope you don’t find your family on here…

Phrothie says: This page is DOMINATED by the Bonaduce family.

2. The Internet of the Future…From the Past!

Tom Brokaw breaks down the internet for a naive early 90’s audience. Why is it that what the internet could do in the 90’s is way cooler than what it can do now? Virtual shopping malls? Synching your watch with your computer? This is straight up Jetsons.

3. 30 Rock is a rip-off of the Muppet Show

http://bloglynch.blogspot.com/2009/06/3 … -show.html

In related news, Rock of Love is totally a rip-off of the Discovery Health Channel’s special on gonorrhea.

Phrothie says: Itchy!

4.  Soccer Fan Can’t Eat Ice Cream

Soccer Fan Can’t Eat Ice Cream – Watch more Funny Videos

He got fat by absorbing treats, not eating them.

Phrothie says: Calories by osmosis!

5. Girl Takes Soft Ball to the Face

(closest pic we could find)

http://www.ejb.com/video/20604/Softball_vs_face.html

Made hilarious by the sound effect.

6. Website Story

College Humor presents a musical about the Internet!

7. Voices That Care

A benefit song from the first Gulf War the makes “We Are the World” look like “Don’t They Know it’s Christmas?” The song includes such megastars as Celine Dion, Michael Bolton, the Nelson Twins, Kenny G, Will Smith, Gary Busey and Fred Savage singing in beautiful, glorious harmony (except for Will Smith; he raps for some reason). It’s like the ’27 Yankees of music if the ’27 Yankees were a group of talentless hacks who were inconceivably popular in 1991.

8. Web Soup on G4

http://www.g4tv.com/websoup/

Okay, this isn’t something we’re making fun of here. This is the latest and funniest Soup spinoff so far (beating out Sports Soup and The Dish) which stars Chris Hardwick (www.nerdist.com) and makes fun of some of the best and worst viral videos out there on the interwebz. It might not be The Soup but it’s definitely worth checking out.

9. Conan Deceives Old People, Hilarity Ensues

Conan goes undercover to see what old people think of his show. What follows is a solid eight minutes of old people calling Conan a sexual deviant.

10. I Park Like an Idiot

http://www.iparklikeanidiot.com/

If you’re sick of jackasses who take up two parking spaces with their gas-guzzling SUVs, morons who park diagonally across multiple spaces, jerks who park halfway onto your brand new boat, or assholes who crash through your backyard fence to park on your property, then this site is for you.

Phrothie Says: In the state of New Jersey, this site is accessed simply with the url “ipark.com”

Stay tuned for funny July things!