• If you keep making that face it will get stuck like that.
• Teachers have eyes in the backs of their heads.
• Everyone is special.
• Bullies are mean because they are insecure.

• The divorce wasn’t your fault.
• Bert and Ernie are just friends.

• Video games rot your brain.
• Your cat has gone to a better place (animals don’t have souls, silly!).
• You didn’t have to wear a dress and sit on your uncle Billy’s lap just because he was an adult and you had to do what he said.
• You can be President one day.

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By Desmond Nathanson, Matt Woodward, Andrew Cass and Rebecca Eisenberg

1. Obama is a robot

Twenty seconds of photos where the man’s smile never falters or deviates. May God help us all.

Phrothies Says: See, we told you he wasn’t American. Everyone knows all robots are made in Japan. Also, robots don’t have birth certificates.

2. Frog found in Pepsi can, forces CNN to make terrible pun

I must applaud cnn.com for their well placed “hopping mad” pun. Other than that, this article is pretty heinous.

3. Glenn Beck boils a frog (no, seriously)

First of all, this is disturbing beyond belief. Second of all, it’s been a pretty shitty month for amphibians…they’re putting themselves through a lot this month just to make us laugh. First the soda can…now this.

4. Muse phones it in

Muse was told they had to lip sync their song on some Italian show. So they swap instruments and have fun with it.

5. Stress disease kills Australia’s koalas

The first round of term papers and exams really got to those small bears.

Phrothie Says: Just wait until they have to take CAS100…

6. Rick Santorum running for President, maybe

Former Senator/crazy man Rick Santorum might be running for president. Let’s just hope he gets far enough in the primaries for us to see his children cry. Again.

7. Obligatory dumb Yahoo Answers question of the month

I was going to do some testing on this, but I couldn’t get anyone come into my “lab.”

See the always enjoyable Answer section here.

8. Megabot, Episode 1
Megabot, Ep. 1

This new weekly series hosted by atom.com is a spot-on power rangers parody. The megabot team is out to save the world, or burn in heck trying. [NSFW Language]

9. Turkeys Terrorize Neighborhood

Thanksgiving will never be the same again.

10. Live Action Bert and Ernie

Your childhood, ruined.