Solving this crime should be child’s play, dear Watson. You simply teleport to the periphery of the guilty party, until he at last goes mad from your haunting. Like clockwork!
None of us know anything about Asian languages, but here’s what we could piece together about the plot of this game: you’re an adorable bird, trying to eat fruits and dodge rockets. You know, normal bird things. But these other animals are jealous of your cuteness, so they do everything they can to fuck your shit up.
3. Big-Mouthed Guy Fits Entire Soda Can Into His Mouth
We don’t care if you get a God damn doctorate, you will never be as amazing as this man.
4. 21-year-old Weightlifter Tries to Squat 1008 lbs. at Sr. Nationals in Chicago; Projectile Vomits All Over Judge, Passes Out
There is nothing about this video that the title doesn’t tell you, yet it is magical every time you watch it.
The first doll to be powered not by AA batteries, but by the nightmares of children.
What’s your favorite part about Facebook? Did you say your friends’ self-indulgent, obsessive compulsive status updates about the mundane minutiae of their everyday lives? Well then you’re in luck, because Openbook now allows you to read the inane, mind numbing statuses of complete and total strangers! If anything, it will at least make you thankful for Twitter’s character limit.
8. This Man Will be the Next Oprah
This man is honestly the most inspiring individual the Phroth hivemind has ever encountered. If he receives his own show, we’d actually have a reason not to be ashamed when we get caught watching the Oprah Winfrey Network. Zach Anner, we salute you!
9. Best of BBC’s “Walk on the Wild Side”
Oh BBC, how do you work such magic? Why CNN can’t be more like you, we’ll never know.
10. Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden
In the year 2053, in a world left devastated by the Chaos Dunk, Charles Barkley is societies last glimmer of hope. The predictions made by this game are as unerring as they are chilling.