10 Things Phroth Found Phunny in January
1. Whorish Face
A shallow pop song + religious group – singing ability = musical gold (“Lady Gay-Gay, you’re not God”)
2. Ancient Chinese Letter of Apology After Drunken Debauchery
(Texts from last night circa 850 AD)
I bet you thought you were the first one who came up with the excuse “I was blacked out.” Let me tell you, that story is older than Jesus. Seriously.
3. Paleontologists Discover Skeleton of Nature’s First Sexual Predator
The prehistoric ancestor to all of Phroth’s writers.
4. The Shake Weight
How to save money if you’re a woman: Grab the nearest male by the junk and move your hands up and down the shaft in a smooth, firm motion. Bonus: Protein shake at the end.
How to save money if you’re a man: Keep on jackin’ it.
5. Weight Watchers Clinic Floor Collapses under Dieters
Thank you, Universe, for doing my job for me.
6. Human Bed Warming Service Offered in UK
(I’m not a rapist, I just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.)
Because inviting strangers into your hotel bed is always a good idea!
7. Live Webcast FAIL
Ever want to see infinity? We found it.
8. Southern California School Bans the Dictionary
About time. There’s a book full of sex and violence I think they should look at too. I think it’s called the Bible.
9. Man Gets Glasses Tattooed on His Face
LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE:
1. People with glasses are smart and can hold down a job.
2. People with facial tattoos will never get hired for anything outside of prison.
3. In spite of what his mother may think, this man is in category #2.
(See more pictures that this man will one day regret here.)
10. Graffiti from Pompeii
“Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”
· Tags: dictionary, Lady Gaga, list, Phroth found Phunny, shake weight, tattoos, West Boro Baptist Church