Unintentionally Hilarious Moments from The Daily Collegian

dailycollegian

1. Letter to the Editor: Experiment in vegetarianism offensive, depicted as choice

This writer begins by saying that, “As a vegetarian of five years this November, I am very offended by the Oct. 2 column “Columnist Makes Oct. Meatless,” in which the author promises to follow a vegetarian diet for a month, “just for the hell of it.”

He then goes on to say that many people “were born to be vegetarians” and that “It’s insulting to me that the core of my lifestyle, something over which I have little control, is thought so idiotic that it is subject to the passing whims of others.”

In response, we say: Vegetarianism is something you’re born with, eh? Well come this November, I wish you a very happy 5th birthday.

2. RANDOM PHOTO: The campus map photo

campusmap

In case you can’t read that, it says “George Marshall (freshman-psychology), right, and Walter Suskind (freshman-history) use a campus map to locate their class buildingon Pattee Mall yesterday. Campus maps are structures placed randomly around campus that locate places in the immediate vicinity.”

We would like to thank The Daily Collegian for this brilliant piece of journalism. The Daily Collegian is a collegiate newspaper published daily which contains information regarding campus events as well as articles pulled directly from an AP Newswire.

3. HEADLINE: Boxes display H1N1 opinions

In an article about Swine Flu, The Collegian decided to enlarge and box of the quote of freshman advertising major Tymel Harvey “I don’t want to get sick.” Thanks, The Collegian. Really hard hitting stuff here. And thanks to Harvey, who provided this absolute gem. You don’t want to get sick? Oh, well now it all makes sense. Thank you The Collegian and Tymel Harvey for alleviating all of our worries about Swine Flu. Originally I was thinking, “hey, maybe I’ll get sick with Swine Flu,” but now I know that there’s another option. Everything is going to be OK. God bless your reporting and your insights.

4. HEADLINE: Insect Fair aims to eliminate many bug stereotypes

“Whether you’re snug as a bug in a rug or not letting the bed bugs bite, Penn State entomologists emphasized on Saturday that it truly is ‘a bug’s life.’”

No comment necessary.

5. HEADLINE: Graffiti Incidents common in Halls

“Along with bulletin boards and room numbers, other things that have been found on the walls of campus buildings this semester include renderings of a banana, a dinosaur and several phallic symbols — all instances of graffiti.”

Honestly, these stories aren’t even news anymore. It’s called Thursday night in East Halls. Stay classy Penn State.

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By Rebecca Eisenberg and Matt Powers

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Comments

  1. Liz says:

    The Daily Collegian: Phroth’s Number 1 Competitor in Humor Since 1909.

  2. Davis says:

    I believe that the Daily Collegian has some kind of rule about having two sentences for every photo caption, which leads to the kind of worthless commentary seen in #2. Seems like a good rule to me!

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