The New York Post doesn’t come up with their witty, biting headlines on the spot. Every day, they speculate about hundreds of potential world events, and come up with headlines ahead of time. Some make it in, while many others fall by the wayside, just waiting for the day they will be needed. Here are some of those headlines:

Headline: “Yankee Doodle Dandy”
Event: New York Yankees team captain Derek Jeter retires from baseball to become a painter. His first work sells at an auction for $500,000.

Headline: “Obama ODRAMA”
Event: Barack Obama accidentally wears the same suit as Joe Biden creating the biggest fashion faux pas to hit the white house since Laura and George Bush wore Crocs on a morning walk.

Event: It is revealed that as governor, Sarah Palin accepted a $4,500 kickback to give a construction company a contract to re-pave a road in Fairbanks.

Headline: “I rack, you rack, we all rack for Iraq”
Event: No event, just a lot of girls with big chests and veils.

Headline: “Crime takes a bite out of Scruff McGruff”
Event: A man put on death row asks for dog meat as his last meal.

Event: Pope Benedict XVI visits America. An embarrassing incident ensues when he tries to make change for five Euros.

Headline: S&P S&M
Event: A company that makes fine leather bondage gear is listed on the S&P 500. It goes on to become one of the index’s fastest rising stocks.

Event: NY Post finally goes under, giving in to the inevitable, crushing tide of the internet.

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Written By Matt Woodward, Rebecca Eisenberg and Desmond Nathanson

Compiled By Matt Woodward

· Tags: baseball, headlines, list, New York Post, news, politics, religion

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