First meeting: Monday, August 24th in Room 233 HUB @ 6 p.m.
Also, we’ll have a booth at the Involvement Fair on Monday the 24th if you want to stop by and talk to some of Phroth’s finest staff members. We’ll be giving away FREE flyers! FREE!
Whatever skills you have (or don’t) we here at Phroth can find a way to put them to good use.
Don’t be shy! If you’re interested in Phroth, we’re interested in you.
Let mirth prevail! Hope to see you there!
So, as Phroth-sick alumnus with nothing better to do with her time, I was fooling around with Google Analytics for the Phroth Web site. Most of you probably don’t know that us Web site gods and goddesses can actually see what you mere mortals type into Google to access www.phroth.com. Well, we can.
As to enlighten the rest of you Phrothlings and phroth phans, here are some hi-lites from Google…courtesy of their keyword tracker.
The number one searched for keyword that resulted in a visit to the Phroth web site was “andrewmcass. I can only assume this means Andrew (one of Phroth’s most dedicated writers) or his parents are googling himself a LOT. Alternatively, the CIA is after him for drug smuggling and they just can’t believe such an international warlord is in Phroth.
The fourth most-oft searched for keyword resulting in a visit to Phroth.com is “Chewbacca for president.” This outranks both “phroth, “penn state phroth,” “state college phroth” and “phroth penn state.” Seriously. In fact, There are four keyword combinations that include the word “Chewbacca.” In sum, these search queries produced over 30 visits to the Web site.
There are 14 keyword combinations that include the words “fat, “girl” and/or “rape.” Girl is occasionally spelled incorrectly, but nonetheless, these searches have produced 18 visits to the Web site.
And the best for last:
(These didn’t produce a whole lot of hits to Phroth.com…but they produced at least one).
Get ready:
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Laura DeSantis is a former Phrothie (Editor-in-Chief 2009.) Since graduating from PSU in the spring, she has relocated to be with a colony of Phrothies living in the D.C. area. Yes, that’s right, a colony. We’re like lepers.
1. The Eternal Moonwalk: A Tribute to Michael Jackson
Two things will never change: 1) People will always regard Michael Jackson as one of the best singers/dancers/performers of all time. 2) Those people will always suck at the moonwalk. The Eternal Moonwalk links together thousands of excruciating videos of amateurs having their go at the famous dance move and failing miserably (as seen above). There are also a shocking amount of videos of people doing the moonwalk with their cats.
2. Raisin Brahms
Not as good as Chopin Crunch, but still delicious.
Phrothie Says: The “Power of the Arts” also causes severe property damage and dangerous hormonal imbalance in children!
3. Don’t Even Reply
Mike Partlow scours the want ads to provoke would-be-entrepreneurs into swearing at him. It’s very similar to watching a Fox News show, except that Partlow has a better grasp of the English language and understands context.
4. Got Six Weeks? Try the Hundred Push Ups Training Program
When Al Gore invented the internet in 1986, this is exactly what he intended it to be used for. Keep reading it here.
5. Blindfolded Nutshot
If this is fake, that kid deserves an Oscar for commitment to the video. Good god.
6. WE ARE. . . NUMBER ONE!
According to the Princeton Review, we’re the number one party school in the country, and drunk a good deal of the time in the State College area. Finally some respect.
Phrothie Says: This is actually the line for Sharkies.
7. PoorHorses.com
If you’ve ever seen a statue of a person on a horse in a park or outside a building (or anywhere, really) and wondered “what the hell was that sculptor thinking?” then this site is for you.
9. New Jersey Rabbis Busted in Money-Laundering Ring
We didn’t even read this article. The title and picture were enough for us. Looks like these rabbis were sick of their Catholic counterparts hogging the scandal spotlight.
Matt Radlow Says: My former Rabbi paid someone to kill his wife!
10. I Fucked Screech!
Read the steamy story here.
The most disturbing part: people are actually willing to fork over $10 for Screech’s autograph.
Phrothie Says: And the sex part. Also disturbing.
Bonus: From the Phroth Vault
Here’s a classic internet video that, much like herpes, we just keep seeing again and again.
He wrote it. He did it live. And the world hasn’t been the same.
