Something that always struck me as interesting is how the most unusual partnerships can arise incidentally through Phroth. It happened for all of us: when we joined the magazine, a few experienced Phrothies would take you under their wing and offer you guidance — whether it be about your sense of humor or your poor life choices.

The general statement that all Phrothies are in some way socially awkward or geeky never seemed to hinder this outgoing nature, ability to network and form friendships. I remember the intimidation when some of my first pitches were ignored by the brass, but I also remember getting an idea approved for the first time and going up against Rebound in a head writer vote so close it almost tore Katherine Harris’ vagina. In a very informal sense, I think we can all look back at our time with Phroth and see the natural progression of “big brothers” and “littles” that frats spend countless hours trying to refine.

And when you look back at our parties, there was nary a difference between us and the frats. Those booze-splattered nights were some of my fondest memories of Phroth and, surprisingly, some of our most productive meetings. Whether it was watching Colleen pour beer down Freshman’s back, showing up at B’s house in a toga (for a prom party), getting hammered at the Skeller with Cali and Freshman during our “pre-meeting meetings,” or screaming after seeing the horrible truth inside a black bucket — notice how three of the four examples of partying included Freshman — those moments managed to inspire us to produce some of our best content.

The parties also helped us fornicate. My God, Phroth is a horny bunch. Get us all together long enough and we’ll try to mount any member that is remotely attractive or remotely single. My list goes so far as to include Dave Barley (on the neck … totally hetero).

But the gin and the sex brought us all together. And fueled by the great talent and experimental comedy of the freewheeling early 2000s group, the soul-crushing insecurity of the middle years and the tremendous team of no-talent hacks that I am proud to call proteges — Phroth is now free* and popular.**

Okay, enough of this “The Big Chill” dancing around with Jeff Goldblum and reminiscing shit. Anyone who knows who I really am also knows I just want to talk about myself and my contribution to Phroth, so here it goes: I was a gloriously inspiring head writer.

We had some rough moments early on (Freshman graced the cover in his skivvies) and my talent pool didn’t exactly seem deep in those first months (fat girl rape is NOT funny), but with the help of my lovely and talented assistant Rebound, a tremendous production team and, frankly, writers who worship me, we put together some of the best issues and Phollegians to that date — and more importantly, set a higher bar for future writing teams.

This is getting long-winded and I know we all want to get to Chili’s, so I’m just going to end with a list of things I’m so proud came from the minds of my team of writers: I Support Smoke Free Mars, Rocket Penguins, Texas Chainsaw Baptism, Jimmy’s talking fruit cartoons, Ahhhnolds Restaurant, Sexy Returned to Original Owner, Wii Colonoscopy II: The Shit Hits the Fan, “Penis => Verginer,” Phroth Phundraising Spectacular, Live at the BJC: Nickelstained with Puddle of Creed, Study shows everyone is from ‘outside Philly’, Fat Kevin, “challenger dogs,” State Breakies Day and basically all of Jason Hellmann’s headlines.

* – Because we alums donate
** – Because it’s free and soaks up blood, vomit

—–
by Pete Ciferri, Head Writer: 2006-2007

· Tags: alumni submission

This entry was posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 at 12:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.